Scary things

If you know me you know one of my favorite sayings is "free to go, free to stay". But how scary is that. It means you have to be totally out of control and who really wants to be totally out of control. I am the one with a million things to do and an order to do them in. I have a checklist - go to school, get degree, get job, work hard, advance, retire. I make goals, achieve goals, and don't let anyone get in my way. But there is a secret voice in my head that says you aren't doing what He called you to do. Of course, I don't seem to have a checklist for how to accomplish that one. How does one go about becoming a full time vocational minister while working full time? Believe it or not this week someone told me I needed a goal. I know it is hard to believe, me with no goals...I was pretending that I didn't know exactly what goal I need to set. They recommended I ask my family if they could think of something I talked about doing all the time but hadn't done. My husband said "you need to be involved in the church more." The original person had said you need to be involved in church more. I said "Man I hate it when God sends all these people to remind me to do what He has already told me to do and I haven't done." But that is because for a long time I haven't been equally free. Remember free to stay and free to go. Trust me, I have been plenty free to stay. After all HP is a great place to work. I tell people all the time how wonderful it is and how blessed I am that God has given me this season. And it is so easy to see how it will provide for the boys to go to college and how it will provide for me to retire someday and how I can control it all the way down the line. But the reality is I want to be free to no longer be in control, I want to be free to be amazed by God and His miraculous power to amaze. So today I did a scary thing. I woke up and said wherever and whenever to God. I know of one lady who did this and God said quit your job - and a few months later her husband was laid off - but God never let them lose their house,or go hungry, He carried them through and He moved on their behalf. You might have heard of that lady as well - Joyce Meyer. I know another young couple who moved to California without a single idea how they would support themselves and now she is teaching at a bible college -even though she is young and without credentials other than the might God living in her. Scary things - but today I am free to go - not where I want or where I see me - but where God gets to be awesome through me. I am taking the challenge to do something brave and just let Him drive. Let Him move me - after all lots of you have told me that I have a message in my heart that He wants to get out. So watch out Houston or Texas or the World - I letting go and letting God - and I am thanking Him already for providing something magnificent for me to do for His kingdom. Don't get me wrong that doesn't mean I am quitting my job or that I am sitting still and doing nothing. I am doing what He told me - I am getting involved locally - I am open to wherever He asks me to share. I am seeking His word so that everyday I am free to speak without hesitation to those around me. I am touching one life everyday - His! And I am free to go to work each day knowing that I don't need a checklist to make ministry my vocation. I am free to stay put where He has placed me and work on ministering in this season with HP being the one who signs the paycheck until He says they don't. The bottom line is it is just as scary to stay as it is to move. But either way I don't want to make it happen in my own will and power anymore. I am going to operate on God's energy and timeline and that is how miracles happen.