Wondering what to say

I am at a loss for words. Those of you who speak with me regularly never thought this time would come but here it is. About a month ago I set a goal of writing in this blog at least once a week for eight weeks. I set aside time in my calendar at work to complete this task and found out immediately that writing for me is not about time. It is not about preparation, or ideas or even knowledge it is about relationship. When I think about writing something it generally plays out like this - 1. think about the fact that I should be writing in my blog 2. create a mental list of the things I think should be written 3. begin a mental(and sometimes verbal) conversation with myself about said ideas- generally while driving Later - 4. sit down to write and realize that all words were consumed in the conversation I had earlier. Frustrating - right. I mean how can it be that I still remember (nearly verbatim) many of the great conversations of my life but can't get the words out on paper about all these great conversations that happen with God in my truck. I guess I could let this get me down. Or I can use those conversations to cement in me the message God wants me to hear and tell. I didn't start this blog to talk about my life or even to provide anyone with insight or a chuckle on occasion. I started this blog to catalog the things that God is writing in my heart. The things that are my testimony. The things I no longer take on faith because I know they are true. The words I put here are the ones that God is spilling out of me into the world. These are the ones that I can't hold back anymore - the ones that are part of the fabric of my life. So writing here may be spread out a bit by time or bunched all up together but rest assured that these are the words that God is putting here. They are part of me. They are part of Him. They are the foundation of our relationship. They are ones for which I will not apologize or be ashamed. They are the words I am using to build what comes next. They are my launching pad. They are my ministry.