What comes next - that is the question that has echoed in my ears most of my life. I am goal driven and don't really function well without a goal. Something to strive for and achieve has been the steadfast mantra of my life. I have written about it here before - I worked really hard to graduate from college early. In work I am always among the highest achievers either by productivity or quality measures. I am the one who doesn't really know how to sit still even at home on vacation. I am driven. Goals are not a bad thing at all but there comes a time when you need to look at life and say I am where I need to be and I don't have to have a goal to achieve. Earlier this year, as I looked for what came next I turned to the old stand by of education. But at this point I have to get my PhD as the next step. I have two young men in the house who need me to be at football and swimming and who just want to see mom at dinner sometimes. So the idea of trying to put the goal of another degree on the table seems to be more than a bit of overkill. I have thought about and pursued new jobs inside and outside of my company. I have looked into going back to teaching school. I have thought about 10 or 15 different physical fitness goals I could set. I have looked at weight loss. Trust me when I say that I have tried on about every goal you can think of and shrugged it off because I just didn't have the peace to pursue it.
So where does that leave a girl who feels lost without something to strive toward? I don't actually know but for now it leaves me feeling a bit out of place. But how bad can that be - out of place is a king watching the sheep. Out of place is bald, blind strong man in the temple. Out of place is a prostitute in Jericho. Out of place is a stable in Bethlehem and a saviour in a tomb.
God wants us to be out of place in this world. He wants us to stand out among the crowd. So how about that as a goal for the rest of my life - to never quite feel like I am "there" - not quite "home". When I achieved my degree I stopped talking about what I was learning. I had arrived - I was there. I am certain that the great commission requires us to be out of place. We have to be in the thick of things to be able to share what God is doing in our hearts and lives. We have to be paying attention as He is teaching us about ourselves and we have to be excited to share.
So I guess my goal for now is out of place and excited about it.
