I walked away from the screen in a bit of a panic. I was full of despair. I didn't want shame or guilt. In all honesty it was a bit too much for me to digest so I put it away. I went on about the business of the day. As I walked through the rest of the evening though, it kept creeping back into my mind. While I put my two amazing boys to bed that night I heard it! Like a voice in the pit of my soul. “Guilt is what you are – shame is what you wear. Your guilt requires sentencing and Christ took your sentence for you – the shame that’s Satan’s attempt to hide your pardon.”
MY PARDON!!!! As in totally clean slate. As in like it never happened. As in something granted - not earned, not merited, not based on truth of my condition - just given with no strings attached. A governor can grant a pardon as can the president. In fact, the president pardons a turkey every year in commemoration of our holiday of Thanksgiving. What does that turkey do to merit being the one chosen? He is the one and only turkey spared death. Why him and not some of beak bearing, feather wearing guy? Clearly the answer is the turkey does nothing. He doesn't even request it - he doesn't repent of being a turkey - he doesn't turn around and walk the other way as an eagle. He is just pardoned. Singled out by someone who has ultimate authority to decide his fate. Given a stay of execution.
What did I do to merit my pardon? The same as that Thanksgiving turkey. I did nothing. I didn't earn it, didn't receive it based on my good works, I didn't even ask for it. Do you get that your repentance has nothing to do with your pardon. God didn't say that Jesus took on the sins of only those throughout history who would come and repent. No. Jesus took the weight of the sin of the world on Himself. He did it of His own volition. He used his ultimate authority to decide your fate and mine.
When we continue to wade around in the mire of what we have done and live in shame like Satan wants, we are denying His authority over our lives and His power to create in our lives what He wants from them. The pardon is complete whether you accept it or not. The work was done before you were born and it is there is for you to take hold of and live in. That is what God wants us to hear about guilt and shame. They were beaten on the cross. The battle is over. Just like the turkey we have been given ultimate freedom. We don't have an ax hanging over our heads.
Are you living your pardon? Are you living redeemed? Are you walking around like someone who has just found out that they have escaped death? Or do you wander around like I have for years - believing that I was pardoned, that the work was done but not really living what I believed. After all the guilt wasn't just something I was; it was something I was ashamed of. And the shame, while not fun, was comfortable. Like a worn out pair of jeans that don't really protect from the wind and cold but, well, they are what you have come to expect. It wasn't, and isn't, how a pardoned criminal should live. I wasn't, and sometimes still am not, able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life like a great worship service, a beautiful sunrise or the unconditional love of my children. Instead of celebrating all that I had been saved from, I was worried about what could happen if God realized who He had pardoned and what I would do if He revoked it.
Fear is paralyzing while redemption is freeing. What would happen if you just believed and lived like a pardoned criminal - like one who was truly redeemed? What would happen if you spent your days meeting the needs of others? What would happen if you gave it all - if you just gave your everything, every minute of every day and didn't hold anything back? What would happen if you took your pardon as the gospel that it is and just lived redeemed? I want to find out. This is the beginning of me laying it all on the line to do with gusto what I believe God is calling me to do. With all I have I am going to try to live like a person pardoned by the All Might Jehovah. I am going to walk in the power of the same Spirit that raised the Son of Man from the dead! I am going to make a mark - and I am going to embrace what God has told me about me - I am going to let the world see my scared little kid inside and together God and I are going to change a nation one day at a time!
