Return to writing

Once again I have taken a few weeks off from writing. I am not sure what triggers the words and what causes them to stop but I am certain it is a good thing I don't rely on the flow of words from my fingers for a living. Although it might make for great seasons of weight loss as I didn't have enough money for food. Recently I have been spending a lot of time thinking about words. What we say and how we say it really is a direct reflection of what we believe and how we think. I tend to be careless with my words. This became clear the other day when I called my son crazy in front of someone and realized how that must sound to a bystander. Karl knows that I mean it affectionately, at least I hope he does...but what if he doesn't. What if by being lazy in my choice of words I have left him to think that I truly believe he or his ideas or thoughts are crazy? The bible says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak. I always used that as ammunition to prove I was right about my ex-husband's verbal onslaughts. See he was mean spirited - his words proved it. Don't get me wrong I think the verse meant exactly what it said when it came to his meanness. But what I think it often reveals is laziness. Our heart is filled with lazy. Too lazy to say what we mean. Too self absorbed to create instead of destroy. How often I find that my words to Tom reveal the selfishness of my heart. I don't really listen and I respond with the easiest but often not the kindest words. This week I really want to be intentional - to think before I speak and say only what would be pleasant to me if it was directed at me.