The Murphy's

The Murphy's
murphy's law

Friday, December 12, 2014

This is significantly longer than a blog and if you can't make it through I understand but it is the single hardest thing I have ever written.  So here it is.


Introduction

             
            When beginning the study of pluralistic theology, the author realizes her study has to be in the context of this question from Goodman, as written in his article Religious Pluralism, “What should it mean to us that others cherish beliefs and norms unlike our own?”[1]  Historically this question has always been posed to her as ‘What can you do to make them cherish OUR beliefs and norms?’ This created a conflict of emotion and made the continued research hard on the author. It was difficult to look internally at the black and white world of ultimates in which she resides. Pondering ideas like “an admission of fallibility, especially about ulitmates, is never out of place.” [2] This examination is excruciating.
             How does a hybrid evangelical, desiring a ministry in a world of differing opinions, make peace with her core beliefs and maintain an open eye and heart to all others core beliefs?  Peace between the two might seem contradictory at first glance, since after all evangelicals “evangelize” and that seems to be contrasted by the inclusive nature of the pluralist. However, this paper will strive to show that Pluralism, encompassing inclusivism and tolerance, is not in fact a theology but a philosophy of religious existence. The philosophy of pluralism is by nature able to co-exist with any theology or religious practice. It is the conclusion of this writer that this balancing act between the philosophy of pluralism and theology is the very foundation of successful evangelism.

Common Terminology

            The basis of this paper is the belief that there is a basic difference between philosophy and theology.  In order for readers to follow the train of thought of the author, defining theology and philosophy and the practice of each will be important.

Theology

            The first examination will be Theology. Definitions of theology all center around the idea that it represents the totality of the study of a god and his relation to the world.  When examined this way it is clear that all world religions that believe in a higher power that can be defined as “god” can and do possess a theology.  Theology can then include all the pieces of the system of religion that explain god and his relationship to man, which leads to the development of attitudes about the rites and rituals that are used to express these beliefs.  This very broad definition of theology allows for an enormous amount of variety in the domains of theological study.

Theological Practice

            Since theology is the system of study of God and his relationship to the world, then theological practice is the system of practice that develops from the study.  Specifically this would include the rites and rituals that are a direct response to the credos and statements of faith that are generated by the study of God. These rites and rituals are personal interpretations of the generalized themes of the study of the specific line of theology. They represent the faith that the practice places in the theological definitions of God. They are not the essence of the belief system but are a direct outpouring of the human emotional nature in response to the belief in a supreme being. Some of these practices are prescribe by the writings of the theologians, historical importance or requirement by god for those who follow him.

Philosophy

            Philosophy is the body of thought that encompasses the knowledge and experience in a specific area.  It is the examination of thought and experience to explain the natural world and our response to it. It represents the body of thought that determine what is truth and how to live based on that truth.  While at the surface it may appear to be the same as theology. I propose that philosophy is the foundation of theology. It is the questioning that arrives at the logical conclusion from observing nature that there is a higher power.  This statement of truth that there is a higher power then requires the creation of a theology about how it interacts with the world. The philosophy breeds the theology by questioning the nature of the world and our experience of it. Diogenes Allen states it well when he says “because theology could not exist as a discipline without the kind of intellectual curiosity which was unique to ancient Greece.” [3] 
            Unlike theology there is not practice to philosophy as it is simply the collection of the experience and knowledge in a specific area.  For example, one does not practice a philosophy of pain, but might possess a philosophy of pain that incorporates both knowledge of how pain occurs and personal experiences with pain. But there is a defense of philosophy and the truth held in a particular philosophy. At the core of philosophy is the desire to remain open to question of truth. This ability to question the truth and open up to new ideas sets philosophy apart from fundamentalist theology which deals with moral absolutes and absolute truth.  These absolutes make practice and defense necessary for the theology practitioner while openness and inclusion necessary for the philosopher.

Theology or Philosophy

            Now that there is a common definition between reader and author, we can begin to explore and classify the two systems of thought. 

Evangelicalism Theology

            Evangelicalism theology finds its” roots in reformation as well as the awakenings of the eighteenth century.”[4] The theology is characterized by adhering to historical doctrines and can be interchanged with the term fundamentalist in some sectors.[5]  Key to the doctrinal beliefs of the evangelical are the inerrancy of scripture, the trinity and the “disciplined and faithful presentation of the Gospel to those who have not yet named Jesus as Savior and Lord.”[6]  The gospel is defined by evangelicals as the redemptive price paid by Jesus on the cross for all who have partaken in original sin at birth, and the subsequent rising from the dead on the third day.  This sacrifice and redemption are satisfaction of the demand for justice by a holy God. Clearly when one looks at the characteristics of the evangelical and the practice of evangelicalism it falls in the realm of theology and not philosophy.  The basis of all evangelical belief is the presence of God and his interaction with the world.
            Evangelicals have an inherent understanding that the theology offers only one way to God and restoration of relationship with the maker.  This inability to accept other forms of truth is another affirmation that evangelicals are not philosophers but in fact theologians. They believe that as part of the reconciliation of the individual to the God of the universe there should be a change in the way of life of the new convert. This is response is seen also in the commandment to then go in to the world and share the basic theology of Jesus and his redemptive act.  The evangelical will often refer to this as the great commissioning and refer to Matt 28:28 as the commissioning statement from the historical religious writings.

Pluralism

            This brings us to pluralism and the question of theology or philosophy.  The definition of pluralism can be allusive so here it will be defined in context of those who have spent time writing and documenting the nature of the pluralist view. Lenn Goodman begins by stating partially what pluralism is not.  She states “sharp divisions between faith and practice are often artificial and unnecessary for a wholesome pluralism.”[7]  Her she gives us the first element of pluralism which is unity of all beliefs where there is tolerance without division. Her thoughts come from the writings and thoughts of Plantinga who was a proponent of beliefs resting in argument and that belief must be separate from practice.[8]  Paul Knitter lists two ideas that characterized the pluralistic view. First is the placing of value on diversity. “We have come to realize that ‘manyness’ is part of the way things work in the universe,”[9] Secondly, he encourages an awareness of the danger of absolutes. “Absolutes are dangerous because by their very nature, they squelch diversity.”[10] Knitter concludes that in actuality all religion points to truth but is not truth.[11]
            Fridlund takes a slightly different tone in defining pluralism.  His supposition is that it is possible to “allow for positive consideration of other religious ends” while making “a judgment in favour of one road towards a particular goal.”[12]  This coincides with the thoughts of Richard Mouw who states. “we have become quite polytheistic in a very fundamental way…quite capable of moving back and forth between diverse, and inconsistent, worldviews…”[13] All of these ideas lean toward a welcoming of thought that is diverse and require that one be open to altering our version of the truth as we know it currently. This is classically the ideology of philosophers.
            Clearly we can see that theology of evangelicalism is different from the philosophy of religious pluralism.  But it is equally clear that pluralism cannot be a theology as it is inclusive of all truths and the idea that truth could possibly not exist.  As Heim points out “Neither is it possible to adopt one of them (another ideology), and at the same time keep one’s own original one. We cannot act concurrently on two different orientations, even if we understand both of them to plausible.”[14] Which brings us to the idea of balance between philosophy and theology and living in co-existence between evangelical theology and pluralistic theology.

Defining Balance

            Creating balance will encourage evangelical Christians to “think about the ways in which philosophical reflection can strengthen the Christian community in its life and witness.”[15] The ultimate goal of balance is to be able to effectively practice the beliefs of the evangelical Christian in a pluralistic world. This implies that the responsibility for balance lies on the shoulders of the evangelical Christian and must fall in the realms of two worlds.  Absolute truth and conviction on the part of the evangelical Christian and tolerance of the diversity of truth in the world.

Truth

            When talking about truth with an evangelical, in regards to evangelism and the pluralistic world, the church has often created a scenario where the adherents to evangelical theology must “convince” others of the absolute truth as they know it. The careful examination of the scripture shows that this is not the intent of the great commission. The bible clearly states that the life of the believer should reflect the redemption of the sacrificial Jesus in his/her life in such a way as to create a desire for the other to glorify God.[16] Unfortunately, the Christian church has tried to “force” others to glorify God.  But John 6:44 clearly shows us that none comes to Jesus but that the Father draws him.  When following the great commission it is clear that evangelicals go awry when they try to create an absolute truth for those around them and deny the power of God to bring the increase in the kingdom. Grace is not of ourselves for ourselves or for anyone else.  Grace is God’s to give for His glory. Evangelicals who adhere to this absolute truth do not feel the need to eradicate other ideas of truth. Instead they, like philosophers, embrace the chance to exchange and share their truth knowing that God will bring increase in the world because He never allows the word to return void.[17] 

Tolerance

            If we compare evangelical faith to building a house then we can see that Muslim faith then might be building a bridge, while Hindu faith might be arranging an elaborate feast for friends. Each taken on its own is a worthwhile endeavor given a specific set of circumstances.  The ultimate question then becomes does one want to build a house, a bridge or host a party.  If you ultimately want a house then building a bridge or a hosting a party might be an interesting but lesser goal.  But once one is valued as of highest value, the others cannot be the same value and must be discarded as a path toward the goal of building a house. “This means that another religion can be considered a true and valid path to the religious fulfilment IT (emphasis the author’s) seeks, even though it is not necessarily considered a valid path to the end sought by one’s own tradition.”[18] It must be left up to the God evangelicals seek to serve to help others make the judgment that building a house is of higher value than building a bridge or hosting a party.
            John Hicks is quoted by Goodman as saying, “Despite the fact that I reserve the right to believe things not believed by Muslims, I leave it to the Muslims to decide what is and what is not essential to Islam.” [19]  This is the crux of tolerance. It is more than entertaining the differences of others but reserving judgment of what is or is not important to them while holding fast to what is of utmost importance to you. Philosophical discussion creates opportunity for the evangelical to better understand the personal elements of his/her faith.  This “openness takes seriously the value of diversity.”[20]  It teaches us “how to speak our own Christian language without jeopardizing a capacity to learn to speak other religious languages.”[21]  After all this is how Paul commends the follower of Christ to live, being all things to all men. [22]

Conclusion

            In summary, we must be unwavering in what we believe but open to what others believe thereby being all things to all men in order that He may save some. When we practice this tolerant, non-violent sharing of our absolute truth, “People will know where we stand and what we are for.” [23] In the end will be do no harm to anyone either physically or verbally and will honor the creation of God in all of His people regardless of the truth they believe.  Upon finishing this paper the author is relieved to realize that her faith is intact and that pluralism and post-modernity are not the death toll for the evangelical but in fact the essence of the gospel.  After all God desires that all men be saved up understands that the very humanness of our nature will prevent this choice in some. Evangelicals must realize that the only have one choice for their own lives and that all others must chose for themselves alone. The beauty of the response to the gospel is that we each are called to “work our own salvation”[24] and are not responsible for the salvation of others.





[1] Goodman, Lenn Evan. “Religious Pluralism.” Political Theology 13, no. 4 (2012): 463.

[2] Ibid, 461
[3] Allen, Diogenes. “Is Philosophy of Religion Enough?” Theology Today 44, no.3 (1987): 315.

[4]  Enns, Paul. The Moody Handbook of Theology Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2014, 653.
[5]  Ibid, 653.
[6]  Mouw, Richard J. “Evangelicalism and Philosophy.” Theology Today 44, no. 3 (1987): 335.

[7] Goodman, Lenn Evan. “Religious Pluralism.” Political Theology 13, no. 4 (2012): 458.
[8] Ibid, 459.
[9] Knitter, Paul F. “Christian Theology in the Post-Modern Era.” Pacifica:  Journal of the Melbourne College of Divinity 18, no. 3 (Oct 2005): 324.
[10] Ibid, 324.
[11] Ibid, 328.
[12] Fridlund, Patrik “A More Pluralistic Pluralism?” Svensk missionstidskrift 93, no. 1 (2005): 48-9.
[13] Mouw, Richard J. “Evangelicalism and Philosophy.” Theology Today 44, no. 3 (1987): 334.
[14] Fridlund, Patrik “A More Pluralistic Pluralism?” Svensk missionstidskrift 93, no. 1 (2005): 46.
[15] Mouw, Richard J. “Evangelicalism and Philosophy.” Theology Today 44, no. 3 (1987): 334.
[16] Matt 5:16
[17] Isaiah 55:11
[18] Fridlund, Patrik “A More Pluralistic Pluralism?” Svensk missionstidskrift 93, no. 1 (2005): 48.
[19] Goodman, Lenn Evan. “Religious Pluralism.” Political Theology 13, no. 4 (2012): 474.
[20] Knitter, Paul F. “Christian Theology in the Post-Modern Era.” Pacifica:  Journal of the Melbourne College of Divinity 18, no. 3 (Oct 2005): 326.
[21] Ibid, 328.
[22] I Corinthians 9:19-23.
[23] Knitter, Paul F. “Christian Theology in the Post-Modern Era.” Pacifica:  Journal of the Melbourne College of Divinity 18, no. 3 (Oct 2005): 333.
[24] Phil 2:12.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Biblical reasons for marriage - musings for my marital counseling class



Answering the question why did you get married seemed to bring about more blank stares than any other question I have asked of my co-workers to date.   The answers included jokes about wishing they hadn't to thoughtful responses crafted days later that included things like
            Partnering in ministry
            Raising kids in the faith
            One household is more efficient than two
            Stability for the nation[1]
The obvious ones like purity and pleasure came up as well.  With one gentleman he candidly said we got married because there was a baby coming and we had a responsibility to that child. He commented that they stayed together because God bound them together as friends.[2]  Having parents who have been successfully married for over 50 years I can attest to the importance of friendship which encompasses so many skills like communication, patience, commitment, love, and joy. 
But even after looking at all of these answers and carefully weighing why it was that I got remarried 5 years ago today, I wasn’t clear on what I thought was the heart of my answer. So I headed to my bible to see what God said.  In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus reminds us that at the dawn of creation both man and woman were made and were joined together as one.  I definitely felt that was part of my answer.  I wanted to be “one” instead of two. The companionship and partnership was something that my soul longed to truly experience. It is good for each of us to know that we have a helper at home when great joy and great tragedy strike our lives. In continued study I came across verses like 1 Corinthians 7:1 where we are reminded by Paul that purity from sexual sin is a key to why we should be married. In actuality Paul recommends not being married if you can exercise self-control over this area but if you can’t strongly admonishes believers to make sure the marriage bed is kept sacred and pure.   While the personal pleasure of spiritual, physical and emotional intimacy is wonderful it still didn’t seem to be a strong enough reason to keep a marriage working throughout the years.
So in the end I turned to Google and asked the same question.  Surprisingly I found what I think is going to be my answer going forward. Dr. Desent stated 10 great reasons to get married that could be illustrated biblically but then after that list he said this, “As I thought really hard on the right answer as to why a certain person should marry another certain person, I arrived at the best answer: “She (or he) is one that God provided, so that together we can better serve the Lord and fulfill His will.”[3]
So that is my story.  When my kids want to get married in the future and when I counsel young men and women who are thinking of marriage I am going to remind them of this one thing. “We were made in His image to bring Him glory – how is your relationship enabling you to do that.”




[1] Michael Howe, emailed to Angela Murphy, Houston, TX, November 4, 2014.
[2] Larry Mills, interviewed by Angela Murphy, Houston, TX, November 5, 2014.
[3] N. Sebastien Desent, “10 Biblical Reasons for Marriage” (lecture, Historic Baptist Church, North Kingstown, Rhode Island, November, 2, 2009), accessed November 6, 2014, http://historicbaptist.org/pastorsdocs/10%20BIBLICAL%20REASONS%20FOR%20MARRIAGE.pdf.



Sunday, March 23, 2014

Single Minded

First Corinthians 7:34-35 says "The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world - how she may please her husband. And this I say not for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction."

Lately I have been distracted! I have been the married woman - married to my job, married to my children, and married to my husband. While I was without a job from October to January, I spent a great deal of time with the Lord. I read the word, I spent the day talking to Him, I listened to music that lifted Him up. It was a mountaintop in my life. One where there were no distractions. No meetings, nobody popping into my office during my lunch quiet time, no thoughts of projects or timelines or issues.  I was just fellowshipping.  But living on a mountaintop is reserved for monks and gurus. I am neither.

I miss the daily walks with the Lord. I miss the undistracted time of communion with my Father. But let's be totally honest He hasn't gone anywhere. He is walking with me every step of the way. He is there for the moments when I can push past the distraction. The problem isn't God - it is me - it is my lack of singular focus. Being available for time with God is a discipline.

Someone recently reminded me how hard it is to be self motivated with all the stuff that happens in our daily lives. How hard is it for any of us to keep all the balls in the air between family, self, job, volunteering, health. It is easy to give ourselves a pass on the God piece. It is easy to say...I had too much stuff going on today - I said a prayer over my meal or while I was commuting I prayed for crazy drivers around me. We can excuse our lack of focus by saying we are doing all the things that God has given us to do.  But the reality is that there is no way to do what God has called us to do without Him.

Look at Job. He had a lot of stuff happening. He was sick, his family was dying around him, his fortune was lost, his friends told him to curse God. He had some distractions and if anyone could have taken the I am too busy excuse it was Job. Yet in the midst of it he says "I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food." (Job 23:12)  That is single-minded. He was willing to forgo food for the word of God.

Let me ask you this - when was the last time you skipped a meal for anything? Was it for a meeting at work, a sports practice for your child, a commitment at church?   Now let me ask you when did you skip a meal to seek the word of the Lord?  When did you put your own physical desires behind seeking the Lord? For me it was on a mountaintop a few months ago - but this week I want to live single-minded. I want my life to speak life because my first, middle and last thoughts are of the Lord who wants to be my daily bread and water.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

A simple path please

When I lost my job at HP in October I was truly lost. I didn't know what job I would be able to get and I was certain that I didn't know how to go about looking for one. So I did what I often do when I don't know what to do, I talked to God. I have often asked God to make things simple.  I tend to get confused if I have to read into circumstances or if I have to figure things out on my own. While I think of myself as smart, life is really serious and mistakes can be costly. So I asked that God make my path as simple as possible. As a response I really felt like He said that it would be clear but I had to walk through every door with an open mind.

So God and I started a ritual each morning. The alarm would go off, I would delete 12-15 junk email and then check out a series of job boards for new jobs. I worked with a placement agency provided by HP to spiffy up my resume and sent it out endlessly. By the end of November, I had been called out for only one interview and that company wanted me to travel about 50% of the time and all across the globe. I loved the position but not the travel. In my final interview with them I was asked if I would take the job for a specific amount and I said I couldn't do it for that little money and told them what it would take for me to do the job. Core Labs decided to pass on me.  So now it was middle of December, I didn't have any job interview lined up and didn't have any real prospects. The only thing I had was my teaching license which had been provisionally approved for transfer from Colorado to Texas.

It looked like I was destined to head from the boardroom to the classroom again and bring my life full circle. The thought of teaching children again was one I could definitely get excited about - at least most of the time. I have to admit I was a bit scared of the way education is done in Texas with so much emphasis on state-wide testing. But the rest of being an educator was definitely appealing.

With all the signs pointing toward going back to teaching, I have to admit I was surprised when I received a phone call for a position at Ensco plc, as a talent management analyst. After all I don't really have any direct experience in that portion of HR. The recruiter who called me the week before Christmas indicated that they wanted to have the position filled by Christmas Day. And well Christmas came and went and so did New Year's and the kids headed back to school and I hadn't heard anything from them. Another closed door - and another sign pointing to a shift in my career path from private to public sector.

At least that is what I thought until Wednesday, January 8, at 530 pm. I got a call from the recruiter wanting to know if I could interview on-site that week. I showed up on Friday morning fully expecting this to be a closed door that pointed me even further into the world of teaching. But I had a fleeting thought that I should call a former neighbor and church friend, Michael Howe, to see if his company(the name of which I can never remember) is hiring. 

My first interview of two interviews on Friday was great. It was a breeze since she didn't ask me any questions and we just had a great conversation about the business and HR and general life experience. As I was lead over to the next interview I was warming up to the possibility of working in this company. The second interview was a very unique experience in that Elizabeth only asked me one question. And then we had another great conversation about the company, the work and what I might be doing. She mentioned the VP of HR, Michael, who had come from a finance background. As she continued to talk I realized that she was talking about our neighbor and church friend, Michael Howe.  So I asked if that was he full name.  She was blown away that I knew him and our kids played together. So we walked over to his office and met with him for a bit. As we were ready to leave he gave me a hug and said how much we were missed in the neighborhood. It was a very impressive endorsement from a very hands on VP who requires that he meet all the potential new hires.

45 minutes after I left the site, I had heard from them again to see if I could come back on Monday to meet the director, Kurt. When I sat down with Kurt, I notice his bracelet first. Maybe because bracelets on men are unusual or maybe because I could see that it said "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." It was about all I needed to realize I wanted this job. Working for two men who believe as I do in integrity, honesty and have strong moral convictions was definitely something I was finding interesting. Then Kurt says he worked with one of my cohorts at HP, Caroline Atherton.  For those who don't know Caroline was my last mentor at HP and the only senior manager who fought to keep me at HP. It was all I needed to know.  I was coming to Ensco. But God wanted it to be even more simple.

As my interview with Kurt wound down, he asked if there was any reason why I wouldn't come to work at Ensco. I told him honestly that I was worried about the 830 am report time since the boys don't start school till 845 and Tom still has bootcamp M, W, F at 830.  He assured me that they would work with me to get it all covered and then said he could not think of one reason why he would not want me to be employed there and that his only concern was he might not have enough to challenge me.

When he returned me to the recruiter, I was very surprised to see an offer sitting on the table for exactly what I had told Tom I would take if they offered it. God is all about simple. He wants us to know His path and if we sit tight He will always lead. In the midst of all my job hunting and finding, God has created some great new ideas for our family that He is still cementing in our hearts. So what I know is that simple paths are still ahead of us. There will be a day when I will leave Ensco and start the next chapter of my life but in the meantime I can rest assured that my journey is unfolding in exactly the way God intends and all I need to do is walk hand in hand with my Father and He will make the way clear and simple.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Who are you listening too?


There are so many voices out in the world that you can easily get distracted and miss the best parts. It is really important that we pay attention to the people who can speak truth and wisdom into our lives. For the sake of this conversation let’s call these people our coaches, life coaches.

If you have ever played a sport, been in a band or choir, or even sat in a classroom you should be able to understand the concept of a coach. They are the people who see what we can do, ask us to do more, and are there to pick up the pieces for us if things don’t work out.  Most of us have at least one person in our lives who immediately comes to mind when you say coach. They were the one person who “got us” and they inspired our best and we would do anything to make them proud. The good coach understands the power of their voice and uses it with wisdom and integrity. Some however, don’t. When you find a coach who can pull from you an inner reservoir of strength or who can develop in you a desire to succeed beyond your farthest dreams, you have found a voice worth listening to.

We are blessed to have some great coaches in our lives currently. I want to acknowledge them for their words of wisdom and levels of inspiration in our lives.

First, let me acknowledge Gary and Marvia Robbins, aka mom and dad. They are amazing coaches in my life. Some of you have had the privilege of meeting my parents and others of you have only heard of them through my stories. They live their lives grounded in The Word, floating on prayer, and looking toward heaven. When I lost my job they were the first I called and the first to say trust in the Lord, He has a plan. They are the voices I call the most often and the ones that I know I can trust to always turn my eyes back to the Lord.

There have been other great coaches in the faith for me as well.  Some of them older than me and some far younger. All of them possessed a voice capable of challenging me to stretch my faith.  Doug Burroughs always moved me to a new place of worship. Abbie Stumvoll to a new place of wholeness. And Betty Thom to a new place of trust.

I have had coaches that have given me courage to step out and do things I never thought I would. Coaches who listened to my heart and helped it heal, helped it fly and challenged it to soar. When I was in a broken place voices like Pam Casey and John Lupone helped me to love myself and believe in who God had made me to be. When I was venturing out in business they challenged me to be better than everyone around. They were the voices of Ken Clark, Joe LaTerra, and Doug Sexton.

As you can see my list of great voices could fill volumes. I have had some terrible voices along the way as well. They hurt and lied and hurt again. They tore down what other coaches had helped to build and they beat me down. Some of them did it aggressively. They swung verbal sledge hammers at my heart while others were passive not even realizing I had made them a coach in my life. The passive ones peeled away my veneer simply by ignoring my cries for attention. The negative voices had power because I paid attention to them. I gave them credence and allowed them to have affect. I had the power to shut them off but I paid attention and they continued to do their damage.

Paying attention can be powerfully constructive or destructive. In December, Karl swam at his normal monthly swim meet. It was tough meet. His coach was on bereavement leave and he didn’t know where to focus his attention. He was lost without a voice to listen to. His simple mistakes turned into huge mountains he couldn’t conquer. He lost heart and he lost time. His focus was missing. His smile faded and he stopped having fun. Then he swam in January. This weekend proved to me that having a voice to listen too is possibly the single most important part of our lives. When you have someone who is watching and is there to add a voice of hope, a voice of reason and a voice of encouragement you have focus. You can accomplish greater things. You have fun and your smile is wide.  I wrote about coaches today to honor his. She is a voice for him that I can’t be. She takes it seriously. She honors him with her attention and she points him toward a greater goal. I know she loves her job and she is vested in his success but more than what I know is what he knows. He knows that Morgan can help him achieve what he wants. He knows he can trust her. And in the moment when he trusts her voice I know he is learning to listen to what is important. He is learning to discern good voices from bad ones. And he is growing. 
So to all the coaches in our lives who speak from their heart to help ours. I want to say thanks but to one coach in particular, Morgan Cordle, I want to say what words can really express but I will try anyway. Thanks for being something to my son that I can never be. Thanks for speaking truth, wisdom and humor