Answering the question why did you get married seemed to bring about more blank stares than any other question I have asked of my co-workers to date. The answers included jokes about wishing they hadn't to thoughtful responses crafted days later that included things like
Partnering in ministry
Raising kids in the faith
One household is more efficient than two
Stability for the nation[1]
The obvious ones like purity and pleasure came up as well. With one gentleman he candidly said we got married because there was a baby coming and we had a responsibility to that child. He commented that they stayed together because God bound them together as friends.[2] Having parents who have been successfully married for over 50 years I can attest to the importance of friendship which encompasses so many skills like communication, patience, commitment, love, and joy.
But even after looking at all of these answers and carefully weighing why it was that I got remarried 5 years ago today, I wasn’t clear on what I thought was the heart of my answer. So I headed to my bible to see what God said. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus reminds us that at the dawn of creation both man and woman were made and were joined together as one. I definitely felt that was part of my answer. I wanted to be “one” instead of two. The companionship and partnership was something that my soul longed to truly experience. It is good for each of us to know that we have a helper at home when great joy and great tragedy strike our lives. In continued study I came across verses like 1 Corinthians 7:1 where we are reminded by Paul that purity from sexual sin is a key to why we should be married. In actuality Paul recommends not being married if you can exercise self-control over this area but if you can’t strongly admonishes believers to make sure the marriage bed is kept sacred and pure. While the personal pleasure of spiritual, physical and emotional intimacy is wonderful it still didn’t seem to be a strong enough reason to keep a marriage working throughout the years.
So in the end I turned to Google and asked the same question. Surprisingly I found what I think is going to be my answer going forward. Dr. Desent stated 10 great reasons to get married that could be illustrated biblically but then after that list he said this, “As I thought really hard on the right answer as to why a certain person should marry another certain person, I arrived at the best answer: “She (or he) is one that God provided, so that together we can better serve the Lord and fulfill His will.”[3]
So that is my story. When my kids want to get married in the future and when I counsel young men and women who are thinking of marriage I am going to remind them of this one thing. “We were made in His image to bring Him glory – how is your relationship enabling you to do that.”
[3] N. Sebastien Desent, “10 Biblical Reasons for Marriage” (lecture, Historic Baptist Church, North Kingstown, Rhode Island, November, 2, 2009), accessed November 6, 2014, http://historicbaptist.org/pastorsdocs/10%20BIBLICAL%20REASONS%20FOR%20MARRIAGE.pdf.
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