And one thing leads to another

I am by nature a reflective person.  By that I mean I have been know to look back at a situation in my past and hash over it to find hidden meanings, relationships to current circumstances and ways it has effected my life.  Take for example, Hurricane Ike of 2008.  The massive hurricane left a city of 4 million in the dark for almost two weeks but it was a single point of light for me that altered the course of my life, the lives of my boys, and many others.  It was a series of small things that lined up to create something truly big.

Another chance set of events was set in motion in May of 2000 when my husband decided that we should by a very old house that we couldn't really afford. Did I mention it was a very old house?  With all the financial need bearing down on me, I submitted an application to a company called HP.  I really didn't think anything would come of  it and did it to humor my husband. I fully expected to go back to teaching the following fall...then one thing led to another and they offered me a job.  That single point in life allowed me so many opportunities and 12 years later I am still amazed how one thing led to another.

As a very small child I used to sit in under my mother's quilter's frame and watch as she stretched the quilt to finish the piecing and prepare it for finishing.  From underneath you couldn't see the color or the design but you could see strings and seams some of which were uneven and off kilter.  I wondered if I pulled one string hard enough would the whole thing fall apart?  But my mom and her friends worked diligently for weeks, and soon something pretty emerged...circles and squares of small even white thread stitches on a solid color background. I loved it.  Finally my mother declared it finished and showed me the quilt from above.  The brilliant color patches that appeared to be placed by chance had really been woven into an intricate and amazing pattern. The circles and squares I knew were hidden in the peaks and valleys of the fluffy welcoming warmth of the blanket. One small thing lead to another and what I thought might have fallen apart has lasted 38 years and sits in my closet reminding me that what God is doing now looks a mess from below but is a masterpiece from above.    No matter that the seams aren't straight and you think it might be falling apart at this very moment.  No matter that all you see is one single color and one repeated design. No matter that you may never see what the quilter sees. Just know that one small thing leads to another and eventually the masterpiece is complete. The truest beauty of that first quilt in my life..all I did was play underneath it paying no mind to what was happening above content to know that my mother was close at hand.  How much I wish that I lived as contendedly now as I did then knowing that is my Father's shadow I see in the chance events of life.

Dreams

More than anything in this world, I want to be in full-time vocational ministry.  I want to teach women to be strong in the Lord, to believe He has a plan for them and to rise above the stuff that holds our feet to the floor.  Every Monday morning, as I head off to the office I promise myself that this week I will figure out some way to make this dream come true.  I will find a magical way to make sure my family has a house to live in while I try to start a ministry and have no paycheck.  I promise to write more in my blog about what God is showing me about myself and the world and His word.  And each week I step into my office and it doesn't happen.  So this weekend I had a thought...what if all God wants is for me to just step.  Our pastor spoke on Joshua 3 today and mentioned that the priests had stepping faith.  I liked that they took action...so here is mine..I will post this to my world via facebook shortly...I think this constitutes stepping faith.

The whole of the Jordan river stood between the Israelites and the promised land.  For me the Jordan River isn't something I can face, it is life as I have known it for 12 years.  It is life as the boys have known it forever.  It is a custody agreement and a few bills that amount to a great deal of fear for the future...but today I am stepping up to the Jordan River and getting my feet wet.  The priests stepped in the river and it parted for them.  They went in and possessed the promise land...now surely they had to battle and the battle was brutal with a great deal of carnage left behind. But for once I want to face the battle head on and win it in the name of the Lord.  I want to see the group of women God showed me years ago sitting in a gym on bleachers waiting to hear that God loves them, He desires them and they are the passion of His heart.

Today I am giving flight to my dreams!

Symbols

If you have kids or have taught kids or were a kid, you can understand how hard the concept of symbols can be.  Recently my kids have been discussing symbols on a regular basis.  For Cub Scouts, we talk about the symbol of our flag which stands for our freedom(another totally easy concept to understand as a kid). We have talked about the symbol of baptism at church or the symbol of the cross in Mom's tattoo.  But really I think that they idea of symbolism had escaped them until last Friday in our pastor's office.

He pointed to his wedding ring and said what does this mean...they knew.  Then he took it off and asked "am I still married"...well coming from a divorced family that was a tough one...i am sure my little Paul's head was spinning going well Mom took one off and wasn't married to Dad anymore then she put a new one on and was married to Tom....so ...is he still married?  We decided on yes  - yes he is married regardless of his ring.  They got that!  It made sense.  Finally a symbol that they could grasp and hold onto.

We love symbols.  We attach them to holidays, we put them on our cars, houses, stationery, and bodies.  We think we know what they mean but like the ring if you took away your symbol could you say what was missing.  What does that rosary really mean?  If you never had another cross in your house, would everything in your life stay the same?  Would you still be married? Would you still be bound to the idea and the love that went with the symbol you lost?

Jesus was a symbol.  I explained that to the boys today.  In a vague bit of gory detail.  They both decided that  the symbol of the lamb was one they were glad was gone.  They didn't like the blood or the detail or that reliance on someone other than themselves for access to God.  They love the idea that they can wear Jesus just like I wear my wedding ring.  They can be clothed in Him and His glory.  November 6th they are symbolically dying...and symbolically rising.  I couldn't be prouder of the symbol they are choosing to wear!

Funny things abound

Here are a few funny things I have seen or overhead at my house this week.

Karl:  "My cub scout meeting was delightful!"

Paul: "Mom please don't dye your hair blue and gold if we sell too much popcorn for Cub Scouts...it will hurt your hair..and I dont want your hair to hurt!"

Tom:  "What...you bought me a tablet...wow this is awesome...now I can watch fight videos everywhere!"  Did I mention he hasn't put it down except for 5 hours of sleep since he got it?

Karl:  "I just think that I like order it pizza better Mom...this is pretty much gross!"

Paul:  "I think my most not favorite president was Abraham Lincoln because I don't think he really knew he was president."

Paul:  "I could dress up as George Washington...all I need is a wig...you can sew that!"

Yes funny things abound everywhere!