Man made molds

You come from a long line of ____. You are so good at_____. Look at her/him, you should be/look/act just like that ______. Each of us can fill in the blanks of the man made molds that have been suggested, requested, shoved and thrown at us by society, our friends, family members and even those we have put on ourselves. Some of them are a perfect fit - for me it was clear from a very early age I would be a teacher just like the long line of relatives before me. (After all only teachers set up math homework for their dolls and give detention when it isn't turned in on time.) Others don't fit no matter how hard we try. I won't ever be the gifted athlete that my brother Tom is or the talented musician that James is or open to change like my sister Joy. However, the reality I have been embracing in the last few months is that man made molds hold us back from what is really important to us. Let me share a very personal example, I have always been smaller and heavier than most women my age. My enormous stature of 5'2" and weight closer to 200 than farther away has often made me feel pressured to fit a man made mold to be 60 pounds lighter and wear ridiculous shoes to be taller. While I will probably always keep my superhigh heels and love them, I have never really desired to be 115 pounds. Aside from the fact that I would look malnurished, it isn't the mold of me I want to make. But that doesn't mean I haven't spent countless hungry hours and hundreds of dollars trying to find a way to get to the emaciated version of me that fits the man made mold of what a healthy women should look like. For the last two or three years, the company that I work for has given us an additional amount of money toward our health benefits if we will go ad have our "numbers" checked. This is a great gift. What I have found out is that my numbers, all of them, are in the healthy range....shatter that man made mold. I am healthy just the way I am. So why for the last two years have a I continued to report my weight loss weekly to a wonderful support group of women who are also working toward healthy lifestyles...because I haven't let the mold shatter. Truth be told, I like me right now. I like that I do a variety of activities. That I don't feel compelled to starve or miss a wonderful opportunity to connect with someone over a glass of wine or piece of chocolate cake. I even like how I look in a swimsuit. I am making a new mold. There are things I do want though. For example, I want better cardio edurance. I want to be able to swim for 45 minutes with minimal need for a catch my breath break. I want to be able to ride my bike 25 miles or more in a day and still be able to climb stairs the next day. These are the molds I want to make for myself. As I make new molds I have to make new habits. For the last three years, I have lived a deprivation lifestyle. I have deprived myself of things that I want because they would not produce the man made mold I was workig so hard to squeeze into. As I move forward I have to track the things that matter and stop depriving myself of those that don't. Starting today I don't care how many points or calories I eat in a day but I do care if I made strides toward a stronger heart. As I am breaking out of this one man made mold, I am forced to wonder how much of my life I have sandwiched into molds not meant for me. Would you believe the little girl with a classroom of dolls doesn't teach anymore? I left it to move up the ladder. But was the move the right mold? I am stil figuring that one out. But I can tell you for certain that knowing what mold you want to fit is the first step toward making a big change in your life or even a little one. I am all about breaking molds going forward. I don't want to be what someone else thinks I should be - I want to be what makes me whole, healthy, happy and wise. Got any molds you want to smash with me?