Can you take it?

Can you take it - when someone provides you the honest truth? When they point out that your version of yourself, or at least the version of you that you want to be, isn't really all there is. How do you respond? Do you get defensive, do you shut down, do you rationalize, do you change? I have been told that I am very coachable. But man what do you do when the coaching nails you to the wall and you come face to face with the version of yourself that you don't really admit even exists? That was my day today. I was told there seem to be two of me working at this company. The one people love to work with and the one people dread working with. What makes the difference? Why are there two versions of me running rampant at HP? Bottom line because there are two of me - not literally but spiritually. There is me who is full of me -full of sin nature and full of spit and fire. Then there is me that is redeemed - full of grace and full of acceptance and peace. Recently I heard an illustration I think fits here well about broken glass. The speaker was telling about the employee who always gets results and drives to completion but leaves glass in their wake. They have managers who come along and sweep up behind them. They make their managers look good but they leave chaos in the midst of the result. They make more work than they produce for those coming behind them. I have never considered myself a glass breaker but with two of me running around there is clearly some glass sitting at my feet. But it is okay - I can take it - I can get back to one person- I can stop the glass from crashing behind - because I have a power not my own. In the words of Rolf U Lovland - When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary; When troubles come and my heart burdened be; Then, I am still and wait here in the silence, Until you come and sit awhile with me. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up: To more than I can be. There is no life - no life without its hunger; Each restless heart beats so imperfectly; But when you come and I am filled with wonder, Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity. I can take it - I am more than I can be!